BREAKING NEWS : It has come to our attention that there was a recent outbreak of Lizard people at the Iowa Caucus last week. They were spotted in the crowd, supporting their supreme ruler, Donald Trump. There was also a perpetrator apprehended later that day, accused of impersonating Republican candidate Ted Cruz at the Iowa Caucus. Many people have believed this to be the reason behind Ted Cruz’s victory at the Caucus. Mr. Trump responded to this by accusing Ted Cruz as cheating, in order to cover up his reptilian ways. We at the Macaroni Report advise you to disregard anything said by Ted Cruz at the caucus, as overexposure will lead you to fall victim to his mind-reading powers.
-Discussion topic sent in by Diana H. Sneviel
-Senior Mail Room Chief Executive Officer