At Greenville CSD every morning is a struggle. As is usual, one staff person(s) opens a single pair of doors (doors are set up like an airlock) at each entrance, and roughly a thousand students attempt to fit through a said single door. It ends up being quite irritating until some godly individual amongst the crowd decides to open up another door. While this may seem like the daily grind, we at The Macaroni Report have determined that it is really the work of a secret shadow organization (NHS Illuminati?). You see, statistically speaking (based on super legit science), only the impatient problem solvers will open more doors and this shadow organization clearly needs more problem solvers in order to solve the issue of controlling people’s minds. So, based on deduction, it can be assumed that the shadow organization is the one only opening the single doors in the first place. We as a result have determined here at The Macaroni Report that the best way to defeat this shadow organization is to use windows as doors instead.
-Intern No. 52