It has come to our attention that there are 100% real fake lockers at Greenville High School that are masquerading as regular lockers. Yes, these are 100% real fake lockers, unlike the 100% real fake doors. We sent several interns to the scene, none of which have yet to return. Most people ignore these lockers, as they appear to be normal lockers. However, this is not the case. Upon further investigation by yours truly, we have made a fascinating discovery. These lockers do in fact, not lock. They also appear exclusively in groups of three. Ominous hissing appears to be coming from these lockers, but due to the instability of the hallways in between classes, these noise appear inaudible. We at the Macaroni Report advise you to stay away from these lockers, as they may be the hideout for the NHS Lizards. We also advise you to report any cases of Lizard sightings you have to report these to our new Lizard-hunting force, the M.A.N.H.S.L. (Macaroni Against National Honor Society Lizards).
– Mail Room Chief Executive Officer