Who are these weirdos that run for president?

In case you haven’t noticed, we here at the Macaroni Report have finally figured out how to actually add pictures into our articles. It has taken months of intensive research to discover that yes, there is a button allowing you to upload photos hovering almost dead in the middle of the page. Now that we have this capability, our photo department has expanded from one pathetic intern with a flip-phone (full on Thela-style), to two pathetic interns with flip phones. During some of our recent research, we have discovered something that you, the reader, may not know: presidential candidates look weird. 

We feel obligated to say that not all of them look weird, for there are a few Marco Rubios in the crowd, but we would like to point out a few examples. Please read on if you wish to see some shocking photos that may shock and/or disgust you.

Exhibit A

Republican Presidential candidate Trump reacts as he speaks at the 2015 FreedomFest in Las Vegas
Donald Trump being Donald Trump. 

Exhibit B

hilary clinton face
Hilary Clinton, attempting to hold in a demonic cackle as she sabotages Bernie’s polls. And trust us, even if she wasn’t making a triple chin, she’d still look terrifying. 

Exhibit C

satan rick santorum
Rick Santorum, apparently starring on the cover of… Satan Magazine?

Exhibit D

creepy ted cruz
Just about the creepiest picture ever taken of already ape-like Ted Cruz.

And of course, last but not least…

Exhibit E

rick perry eats corndog
Former presidential candidate Rick Perry enjoys a corn dog. Way, way, way too much. 


So, that exists.


Basically what were asking is, why do we get all of the weirdos running for president? Where are all the normal people? Who beat these people with sticks as children?

Unless the answer happens to be 42, we unfortunately cannot give you the answer to what is up with the weirdos we want to run our country. On the bright side, we can give you yet another weird and creepy picture of Rick Perry eating a corn dog.

rick perry eats corndog 2

Eat Responsibly.

-Kitchenette Intern

Who are these weirdos that run for president?

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