Macaroni Critique: Siebrecht Brand™ Headbands

Today at the Macaroni Critique we have a super legit thing to Critique that is totally super legit: the Siebrecht Brand™ Headband! This headband is not just any headband. It’s a Siebrecht Brand™ Headband! Personally created and sold by the big man himself! We caught up with Siebrecht himself for a super legit totally not fabricated interview. “After I got the duck face to explode on the internet, I needed another life goal,” he said. “Teaching eighth graders simple facts like the fact that Abraham Lincoln is the greatest president just isn’t good enough, you know, especially since none of them pay attention anyway. So then I decided to start selling Siebrecht Brand™ Headbands, hoping that maybe they can break the internet again.” These headbands aren’t just any ratty old headbands. They have special side effects that no other headbands have. One of their most popular features is the feature that allows you to run in the pouring rain without feeling tiredness or discomfort. Siebrecht himself often advertises this feature by jogging along route 32 whenever there is a thunderstorm. Another amazing feature is the patented Instant-Headband-Tan technology, which uses company secrets to give you a much-loved headband tan instantly!*All these amazing feature can be yours for only fifteen easy payments of $0.37!!!**

So you see, the Siebrecht Brand™ Headband is one of the most amazing products ever invented! I mean, its a headband with Instant Headband tan and anti-pouring rain features!*** Plus, it’s super cheap! We at the Macaroni Critique highly recommend that you buy this product, and were totally not paid off to tell you that.

-Kitchenette Intern

(*Siebrecht Brand™ Headbands do not actually give you a headband tan instantly. It generally takes about a 3 month time period to experience the full effects of the headband tan. Less during summer months or if jogging frequently
(**Plus $358.95 shipping and handling.)
(***Effects are not guaranteed to work unless the user is bald. May cause hair loss.)

 

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Macaroni Critique: Siebrecht Brand™ Headbands

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