As many readers of the Macaroni Report are more than aware, the collective known as Greenville`s Board Game Club, under the veil of “Masterminds”, has been operating unchecked for several months. In this time, they have pillaged the pizza supplies of surrounding towns, pummeled Mr. Drumma with an unrelenting stream of old people jokes, and most recently, unintentionally sparked the wrath of the real Masterminds organization, whose descent upon Greenville is still seared into the nightmares of many. It is only after the events of last night, however, that administration at Greenville have finally had to intervene.
Reportedly, the Board Game Club took it upon themselves last night to seek retribution for those they had lost in the wake of the Masterminds invasion. “There was no getting our dignity back, we knew that.” one Board Game Club member recalled, “So we took the next best thing.”
What could be second to dignity? Why, the very barrier between order and chaos, a forbidden resource the halls of Greenville have been recently deprived of: door stops. It is suspected the club gained access to Bethlehem school, one of the Mastermind`s primary lairs, under the name of one of their fallen members.While the Bethlehem sect of Masterminds were busy conducting a strange demonic ritual, which appeared to center around a tennis ball, the Board Game Club tactfully liberated one door stop for each casualty they had suffered at the hands of the Masterminds.
This, evidently, was not satisfying enough for them, as Bethlehem credits further losses to last night`s raid. Accounts are still coming in, but the damage so far disclosed attributes two dozen slices of pizza, approximately a hundred cookies, and several gallons of (name-brand) Mountain Dew to be among the goods ravaged.
The Board Game Club is still pending charges, as neither Greenville or Bethlehem districts have explicit evidence linking them to these robberies, especially with the high levels of Sudden Temporary Deafness Syndrome that seems to befall any potential witnesses. However, in the wake of these allegations pinned against them, Mr. Drumma has been advised to “cease and desist” with meetings for the rest of the school year, to allow for things to blow over a bit.
Despite their temporary disbandment, the Board Game Club will be remembered for their courage on their final mission, a complete lack of knowledge of most antiquated pop culture and sports references, and their unrelenting mockery in the face of danger.