Mary and Donald are DATING!

That’s right, you have heard correctly, your eyes do not deceive you. Mary and Donald are officially dating. Normally, we here the Macaroni Report don’t publish tabloid stories and gossip but OMG. This is just beyond belief, as made evident by all of the gasping tables of sixth graders. We all thought Mary was flirting with Ronny earlier this week. Donald made his move during social studies by passing a cute little note under the table through Jeremy’s hands to Jessica, across the table to Mikey and then into Mary’s hands. Date me, it asked, yes or no.

And Mary circled yes. Donald has always been a total bad boy and so were all wondering why Mary, like, went for it you know. I mean were all like, wow. On Friday, at the dance Donald was holding Jessica’s hand and Mary was not even there but I she wanted to be because she knew that Donald would be their, dancing with other girls.

Mary tried telling her mom but her mom doesn’t like Donald so I don’t know where they’ll go from here. Probably, they will break up tomorrow and Donald will take Shannon to the next dance.

But for now, they’re so freaking cute.


Editor’s note: The Two individuals in question here may or may not be actual people, and if they are, their names have been changed for privacy reasons.

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Mary and Donald are DATING!

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