Here we go again readers. For the third time I have escaped the Mail Room to interview the office’s employees about only the most important and interesting topics. Let’s see what we can learn about them today.
Q: What’s your favorite thing about theater? What’s your favorite play/musical?
“My favorite parts of theater are the lies and deceit. And the girls.”
“I personally love the intermission, as you can get up and attain food. If you’re really lucky you can get it for free. *sighs* I love food.” –Kitchenette Intern“Probably the endless supply of free snacks and drinks. Intern No. 92 raided the staff fridge the other day and ate all of the Oreos and drank all of the Kool-Aid.” –Mail Room CEO“The time that the Head Chef, Mailroom CEO, and the Macaroni groupie made memes of me was pretty alright” –Intern No. 836“Theater is a joke. Song and dance is all well and good, but where`s the real struggles? Just once I`d like to see the story of, say, a 21st century dragon trying to get along in a world of 14th century expectations. THAT would deserve a tony.” –Furnace Dragon
“My favorite part about theater is nobody seeing me while i’m backstage. My favorite musical is Spamalot.” –Broom Closet Sasquatch“Turning hell week into meme week.” –The Head Chef
Q: What’s the deepest thought you’ve ever had?“My theory of dividing by 0. Basically if you divide by 0, you actually multiply by infinity.” –The Head Chef“What is Love?” –Mail Room CEO“My deepest thought ever is: would we all be better off if I just killed everyone?” –Broom Closet Sasquatch“What is life? How do we define life? What do we require to live? How important is food to life? Can I have too much food? How much food can I eat before I kill myself? Food is tasty. I like food.” This is my literal thought process every morning when I wake up. Seems pretty deep to me.” –Kitchenette Intern
“I used to wonder why I ate humans, and if peaceful coexistence was the way to true inner happiness…and then I saw who far too many of them were supporting to be president of the United States.” –Furnace Dragon“I often think about the increasingly compelling evidence that Richard Nixon is alive and well and running our government from a nightclub in Argentina.” –Cheddar Guevara
Q: What’s your favorite Finger? Why?“My favorite finger is my big toe. Mostly because I like using my feet to do stuff instead of my hands. It kind of freaks everyone out.” –Broom Closet Sasquatch“The middle finger, because it makes the best emoji.” –Kitchenette Intern
“My favorite finger is the one I chomped off a boiler intern one time, intending to keep as a snack for later. I kinda forgot about it for a little while, since I was stuffed from all the interns I got to eat thanks to the newly nine-fingered one who couldn’t quite grip the boiler door right anymore. So I mostly just keep it around for good luck, like a rabbit`s foot.” –Furnace Dragon“My favorite finger is the middle finger because it has so much spunk.” –Cheddar Guevara“My favorite finger is the ring finger, as to hold my delicious Ring Pops on.” —Mail Room CEO“Every finger except my right thumb, because I need every finger other than my right thumb to play vidya gaems on PC.” –The Head Chef“My thumb is pretty great for when I rate different things in the Macaroni Critique” –Macaroni Critic No. 5/7
Well that was fun! I hope this edition of Corridor Conversation proved highly educational for all of you dear readers. I’m heading back into the Mail Room to hibernate for an undetermined amount of time.