Macaroni Groupie Identified as Potential Arsonist

Recently a small fire took place in the Tops Supermarket. While this event caused little damage to the store, and no one was harmed, many began speculating how the fire began. An unofficial staff member of the Macaroni Report was quickly accused by many residents of the Greenville area.

We interviewed the self-named “Macaroni Groupie”  regarding the allegations.

Intern No. 364: Let’s get to the point: did you start the fire?

Macaroni Groupie: Well I love starting a good fire as much as the next Macaroni Report Fan, but this was not a good fire. If I wanted to start a fire in Tops, I guarantee it would be much bigger than the recent one.

364: Interesting. Can you tell us anymore about the fire?

MG: Well, this fire was not started by a person. It actually started because of some problem with wires in the ceiling or something.

Well, there you have it folks. The Macaroni Groupie is obviously a compulsive liar that enjoys watching produce burn. She’s on the loose and may try to set a blaze in another one of Greenville’s places of business. Make sure you and your children have flame-ignorant clothing* within reach when venturing out into the Bryants Plaza.

Thanks for reading.

–Mail Room VP

*Flame-ignorant clothing is available in your nearest Macaroni Report Store. Buy now.

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Macaroni Groupie Identified as Potential Arsonist

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