This just in! The political correspondent of the Macaroni Report has become disgruntled. Fed up with the state of the current Presidential Race, and annoyed with our failure to properly report on it, the ghost of Richard Nixon has abandoned the Macaroni Report and gone off to offer his expertise to another paper.
Unfortunately, Nixon could only find his way to the school newspaper, The Maroon Report. There he found that the high school students running the publication weren’t concerned with reporting on national politics, except for making jokes about Donald Trump. Nixon went beserk, seeking to reform the small public school newspaper, like it would make a difference on the whole of American media.
Nixon then used his ghostly powers to possess a prominent member of the paper, Emily Fagan. We interviewed Mr. Nixon/Ms. Fagan, and he/she had this to say.
Intern No. 671: What plans do you have for The Maroon Report?
Fagan/Nixon: We’re going to do our best to bring more proper political coverage to the students here at Greenville. Readers won’t miss the important details of this year’s election.
Intern No. 671: Enlightening. Mr. Nixon, this question is for you: What do you plan to do when the school year ends? Ms. Fagan is a senior, so she will be graduating this year, so she will no longer be a convenient vessel for your ghostly political needs.
Nixon: Well I’ll just have to find a new body. Easy fix.
Intern No. 671: Makes sense. Since the paper is under new leadership, do you have any plans for re-branding, such as a new style for the printing or a more strict publishing schedule?
Nixon/Fagan: Nothing too concrete yet. I personally am in favor of renaming the paper, but I would need support from the other staff members.
Intern No. 671: Do you have a name in mind?
Nixon/Fagan: No, not at the moment.
We here at the Macaroni Report are in full support of renaming the Maroon Report.
I personally feel that “The Aroo Report” would be a fitting title, given their new leadership. Feel free to make suggestions to Maroon Report Members.
Thanks for reading.
–Mail Room VP