Since we now have a game critiquing department at the Macaroni I needed to critique something. I needed to critique this. This is Action Potato. Action Potato. Yes it exists. Yes, I will critique it. Yes it is just as good as the amazing Richard Nixon tote bag.
In this game, you play as an omniscient presence with the ability to control smiling potato jars (by control we mean make them hop in place), all set in a blank orange universe. That’s it. You just sit there and catch some flying potatoes.
The storyline is very interesting. That’s because there are not just flying potatoes, there are also flying rocks that hurt your happy little potato jars. Very intense. Bring tissues. It’s a tearjerker. [1/20]
The potatoes are just tan ugly lumps. And the rocks are just potatoes colored blue. Because rocks are blue. Duh. [2/10]
As the omniscient potato jar being, all you really do is tap on the jars and make them hop. Simple. Even a chimp can do it. Although, if you give this game to a chimp, it will be mad because you insulted its intelligence. [2/20]
This game has amazing replayability value. Every time I play it I die on the inside just as much as I did the first time around. [18/20]
Bugs? There are no bugs in this game. It’s a game about potatoes. Why would there be bugs in it? It would be weird if there was some centipedes or whatever other type of bugs crawling around in it. So a good bug rating, because no one likes bugs. [20/20]
What else do you want from me?!? It’s a freaking game about potatoes! Potatoes! [0/10]?
The final score of action potato is 43/100 points. Don’t even ask me how it scored that high. This system has to be rigged.
A recent survey showed that 8 out of 10 chimps found Action Potato too stupid to even play, while 8 out of 10 humans had a blast playing it. Once again, proof that evolution does not exist.
And remember kids, don’t forget to tune in next week on Games in Review, when we will review the Action Potato rip-off, Potato Panic! Much excitement.