As the year winds down, it’s time to write a totally original, not parodied from some other non-existent newspaper, article. This article will analyze the history of the press (both printed and online) in Greenville. So let’s get down to business and begin our tale.
Greenville was founded like a bazillion years ago, and for many, many, many years, there was no way to get news out to the students, parents or faculty members. This went on for many, many, many years, and the people craved a newspaper. At last, one senior by the name of Liam Connors – I mean, er, the Head Chef – decided to change things and founded Greenville’s first ever newspaper, the Macaroni Report. The Macaroni Report, the first ever newspaper at Greenville, delivered super-legit news, while also providing satirical entertainment for the masses.
Well, that’s pretty much it. That’s the history of every single Greenville newspaper publication. It’s total. It’s complete. We’re not forgetting anything. This is practically the Encyclopedia Britannica of the associated press.
Further investigation into the subject of newspapers revealed that there once was this planned thing called the Maroon Report, but apparently no one was ever able to get it out on time.