Corridor Conversation: Special Edition

[Operation Big Mac]

Here’s a special end of year Corridor Conversation to celebrate the untimely resignation of some of our members. We wish them all the best in their future careers. The four members we are celebrating are: Furnace Dragon, Archivist 4242, Richard Nixon/Cheddar Guevara, and the Head Chef himself. Hopefully their next job will net them an actual paycheck and dental insurance.

Should the Macaroni Report save money for a new racetrack?

“Yes, because the school clearly doesn’t have time to.”

–The Head Chef

“Why don’t you pay us first?”

–Broom Closet Sasquatch

“No racetracks. We don’t need to please the people around here that think “vroom vroom-“ing is a sport.”

–OPC

“What money? All the money that we make goes towards funding the construction of our space shuttle for MACARONI IN SPAAAAAAACE!!!!!!!”

–Mail Room CEO

“Racetrack?… Why aren’t we funding more important things like wigs for everyone or a cure for cancer, all cancers, including annoying fandoms that won’t ever calm down no matter how many times you squirt them with a little water bottle and tell them ‘NO!'”

–Archivist 4242

“I would like to say we need a new track but due to a certain goose gang I will have to say no. The funds would go to waste if we tried to build on their turf.”

–Boiler Room Intern

“We would save money, if we could save money. Right now, the Macaroni operates on a non-profit basis, not because we donate to charity, but because we literally can’t make a profit on this thing.”

–Kitchenette Intern

“All I’m going to say is, a racetrack would make the Friday night intern fights a lot more interesting.”

–Furnace Dragon

“I think the Macaroni Report should save money for a racehorse before they think of getting a track.”

–Political Correspondent Richard Nixon


What are your favorite memories from your time in the Macaroni Report?

“My favorite memory of the Macaroni Report is when the Board tried to shut us down but then they realized that the Macaroni Report is bigger than the Board itself.”

–PCRN

“When the door starter business backfired and almost burned the Macaroni offices to the ground.”

–Furnace Dragon

“Founding it and watching it go from a skeleton crew of few to a fully fledged journalistic empire.”

–The Head Chef

“The best part of the report for me? Most certainly the small amount of infamy built with the rest of my fellow interns.”

–Archivist 4242


What are your favorite memories of our departing members?

“Civ parties, roasting The Head Chef’s nose, beating up the Furnace Dragon at my locker, and that time Nixon ripped his shirt off in Latin class and recited a poem about Bobby, Jimmy, Timmy, Johnnie, Ricky, and Propertius the Sinner.”

–Kitchenette Intern

“They all made fun of me equally, so therefore they all must die painful deaths.”

–BCS

“Every time Nixon stripped. The time Furnace Dragon roasted Sasquatch. The time I sang “You Just Got Dunked On” after beating the Head Chef in chess. Oh, and the archivist? ‘Nuff said.”

–Boiler Room Intern

“You’ve all given me many laughs and I hope you continue to write. I remember being propped up by the Archivist in one of my darkest times. I am so thankful.”

–OPC

“Getting to see Nixon’s glorious thighs in the man cave during the musical. The time I played Civ for 5 hours with the Archivist (Still don’t know how to play). The Head Chef’s talent for writing songs, hands down.”

–Mail Room CEO

I personally am very thankful for the opportunity to participate in this wonderful group of journalists and mythical creatures. I wish Nixon, the Archivist, Furnace Dragon, and The Head Chef the best of luck in their new adventures down the road.

And I can’t wait to see where fate takes the Macaroni in the next year. Who will we meet next? Will the NHS Illuminati seek vengeance for its uncovering? Who will heat the building now that Furnace Dragon is off to burn Canada?

Thanks for reading

–Mail Room VP

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Corridor Conversation: Special Edition

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