Macaroni Critique: Donald Trump Toilet Paper

Yes you read that right.

donald trump toilet paper

Let’s start in on critiquing the hell out of this thing right now.

Image:

I don’t know about everyone else, but I generally love having Donald Trump staring at me while I’m attempting to take a sh*t. [10/10]

Strength:

This toilet paper is un-durable to the max. It is an internet product after all. Nothing is worse than your toilet paper ripping when you’re, um, using it. So maybe don’t actually use it. Maybe. Way to be a letdown Donald. [1/10]

Price:

Only $14.95 plus shipping and handling on Amazon (oh, you thought this was a made-up product, didn’t you?). A little expensive for something you’re going to be wiping your ass with, true, but what other toilet paper has pictures of the most hated presidential candidate in America? I mean, come on, you’re smearing sh*t on Donald Trump. [4/10]

Softness: 

I’ve never actually used this item, because I’m poor, but if I had to guess it wouldn’t be too soft. After all, we all know that Mr. Trump tends to be a bit abrasive, to say the least. [2/20]

Donald Trump:  

What can I say? It is very hard to attack Trump on looks, because he is just so good-looking. [10/10]

Final Verdict:

This product’s final rating is 27/50, but we’re willing to bump it’s score up to a 50/50, because an important quality is missing from our grading criterion: part of the beauty of Trump is that he is very rich.

Remember kids! Wipe your rump with Donald Trump!

Eat Responsibly.

-Kitchenette Intern

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Macaroni Critique: Donald Trump Toilet Paper

2 thoughts on “Macaroni Critique: Donald Trump Toilet Paper

  1. idonotapproveofthatnickname says:

    Up next: Bernie Sanders Hand Sandertizer- good for cleaning up your hands and America’s inequality!

    Like

  2. broomclosetsasquatch says:

    I think there are two really great things about this.
    1) you’re smearing shit on Trump’s “beautiful” face
    However, the slightly less obvious 2) He’s kissing your ass while doing it

    Liked by 2 people

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