Pond Water in Town Center Dissapears

Within a matter of days the water in the hole at the center of town, threatening to take the beloved gazebo at any moment, had vanished. Was this because the wain main broke again? Likely.

Suspicions rise as soon after the water dissapears, the missing ducks reappear. Possibilities include ducks having magnetic water-repelling powers, or were kidnapped and held thirsty all winter. Two days after the ducks (which may or may not be the same ducks as last years,) arrive to the hole in the center of town, which was drained of everything but debris and mud, water, which is not the same water as before mysteriously reappears overnight.

Could this brown dirt hole in the ground filled with water actually be a black hole filled with the souls of those who resort to substitute teaching at a public school? As a distraction of high-fiving small humans stormed Ellis while in traditional maroon and white warfare armor, so none would speak of this scandal. The event was staged, of course, and no elementary students were harmed.

Concerns arise again as the water does once again. How stable is this pit filled with water? How stable are these so-called “ducks”? When will the Greenville Construction Crew install a waterside leading into the pond? Only time will tell, and we all know time isn’t real.

– Macaroni Groupie


[Editors Note: I was approached by our very own Macaroni Groupie and was asked to publish their article about the disappearance of the Greenville pond. All credit goes to her, the title, the topic, even the article itself. She wishes to remain unnamed, stating that “complete anonymity is a critic’s best tool”. I would also like to address our Head Chef’s laziness and reluctance to officially add this “Groupie” to the Macaroni staff. Again all credit to her for the article, I did not help her write the article, I only published it.

– Mailroom CEO]

Pond Water in Town Center Dissapears

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