Welcome to another session of Games n Review. This week, we have a wonderful game known as Cat vs. Aliens. Are you half as obsessed with cats as the majority of the Macaroni crew is? Then this is the article for you!
I believe you get a pretty good idea of what this game is about just by reading its title. Except for one thing; it’s a magic cat.
As a magic powered, pink cat, it is your job to defend planet earth from one-eyed alien invaders by creating magic orbs via your mind and hurling them at the enemy. You must aim for the alien’s external brains, and a successful hit causes random streaks of electricity to swipe through the alien’s ranks and obliterate them. You die when the alien’s make it past this random line in the grass, just because. There’s not really a reason, that’s just the way it is. [3/20]
Ain’t bad, but the cat is distinctly non-cuddly looking. Um, excuse me Mr. game creator, I want a cat that is cute, even if it is fighting alien invaders for the fate of the planet. Also, the aliens are kind of just ugly lumps. I don’t exactly know how ugly lumps are going to destroy the planet. [4/10]
All you do in this game is flick your finger to send magic energy orbs flying. As for genre, we’d consider this a part of the “Obsessed with cats” genre, which yes, is a genre. [5/20]
I was just as bored dying on the fifth wave of aliens each of the ten times I played this game. Somehow this game manages to make magic telekinetic cat energy powers surprisingly boring. I had more fun replaying Nyan Cat Rainbow Dash than this. [2/20]
Usually I make a joke about there being no literal bugs in this game for like the fifteenth time, but there actually was a convenient glitch in this game one time where I was unable to die when the aliens made it past the magic line. Sadly, the inability to die was unable to make this game any more enjoyable than it already was, which wasn’t much. [15/20]
The only part of this game that makes me at all happy is that if you kill enough aliens, you get to use a special ability known as a PURRICANE. Pun game on point. [4/10]
The final rating is 33/100, which is sadly much too high for this game. This game would be rated much higher if the cat was cuter. Or if the aliens looked more threatening. Or if this game was a completely different game nothing like Cat vs. Aliens. I think that this game may even cost actual money on the appstore. I don’t even care at this point. Don’t waste your money kids. There are so many better cat apps to spend your money on, such as Neko Atsume. At least there the cats aren’t pink demons.