Hey Macaroni readers! We’re here to make a public service announcement that honestly should have been made months ago, but I mean we’re the Macaroni Report, we don’t do things timely, if at all.
So the announcement is: the Head Chef has been replaced.
That’s right, we got sick of that bastard so we sent him off to the Hudson Valley Community Prison Camp to live out the rest of his days, however few they may be. Of course, this left a power vacuum, but this problem was quickly solved. I, the amazing Kitchenette Intern, was put in command of the Macaroni. However, the majority of the Macaroni staff quickly realized that was a bad idea because I am legally insane, so I was turned into a “co-Head Chef”, with the Mail Room VP being put into co-command to temper my general craziness. Of course, the Mail Room VP is completely insane when it comes to the topic of mail, but otherwise he’s perfectly normal.
Of course, everyone knows who the dominant male is in this relationship. And of course there is also the fact that the Mail Room VP has disappeared in the last few days, so in his absence I have taken total dictatorial control of the Macaroni. I assure you dear reader that I am putting all of my resources (of which there are none) into finding my co-Head Chef partner. Every Macaroni employee (excluding myself of course) is being investigated for potential espionage. We will get to the bottom of this, and I am not just saying this to appear not guilty, that’s a stupid idea.
-Kitchenette Grandmaster Dictator Head Chef Boss Dude
(P.S. Original Head Chef you suck!!!!)