This week there is literally nothing. You’d think that it just being thanksgiving, there’d be something. You’d think that Donald Trump being our president, there’d be something. Anything. But alas, the well of ideas that has barely kept the Macaroni Report semi-alive for the last few pitiful months has finally dried up. There’s nothing left. Unless something happens very soon, it seems our ship has sunk. About the only thing that could hope to save us now is the publishing of a certain school official newspaper for us to vandalize and parody (hmm I wonder what institution we’re talking about there), but let’s face it, that’s not gonna happen. Then again, most of the news also said the orange man wouldn’t be our president so who even knows at this point. So what am I saying basically? Here are my points:
- The world is boring.
- The Maroon Report is slow.
That’s about it.
So basically, A.) if you are a person reading this, make something interesting happen. Please. We’re dying over here. B.) If you are a maroon report staffer reading this (there is no overlap between the two [ROAST]), please, publish your newspaper. We’re waiting.
So, is there some value to this article? Yeah actually there kinda is. When we’re bored, we do crazy shit. So look at this.
Continue reading “Plague of Nothingness overcomes Greenville”
Now that nobody wants to talk about politics ever, ever again, it’s time to get down to the real important stuff: using trivial opinions on overplayed seasonal “classics” to determine your worth as a person!
Continue reading “What Does Your Favorite Holiday Jingle Say About Your Life Choices?”
Thanksgiving is one of our nations oldest and most enlightened Holidays. Once a year, families from all over the nation and even world, gather together to meet relatives who have not been seen sine the previous year. It is the one American Holiday that doesn’t ooze with commercialism or stink of American Hypocrisy. Thankfully (see what I did there) we can follow up this joke of a Holiday with a real American classic “Black Friday”
Continue reading “‘Tis the time of Getting Things”
Let’s get to business and see what weird ass countries are viewing us this time.
Continue reading “Macaroni International Updates are back #2”
Yet again, the NHS has exercised its sinister powers to acquire a new supply of human labor. A group of unsuspecting Juniors and a few Seniors participated were inducted last night. While the crowd of proud parents applauded, the thin cackle of the Lizard Illuminati’s Head of Human Resources, Mr. Albright, could be heard mixed in among cheers and clapping. Here are the steps these students took to add the prestigious cult to their resumes.
Continue reading “NHS Collects New Batch of Oblivious Human Slaves”