So. You may already know if you are Canadian already and you may already know if you are American already. Or you may not. We’re not judging. But here at the Macaroni, we have developed a foolproof way to test if someone is either Canadian or American. It’s really rather simple. All you have to do is take this epic quiz! Come on, we know you want to.
So. Rules. Pick whichever answer is most like what you would answer. Then check out at the bottom to determine what the hell you are! Let the quiz begin!!!
1.) On a scale of one to ten, how much do you like ketchup flavored chips?
a.) Um gross, I’m not gonna rate those, ketchup chips sound disgusting.
b.) Pretty good. I give it a solid four on the ketchup flavored chips scale.
c.) TEN. Ketchup chips are bae.
2.) How often a day do you say “eh?”
a.) I never say that.
b.) I’m not sure, eh?
c.) Eh eh eh, Canadia, eh?
3.) How often do you see moose (meese)?
a.) I maybe once saw a moose, it was pretty cool.
b.) I wake up about once a week to moose shit on my lawn.
c.) Every morning I wake up staring at my ceiling where my moose stickers are stuck, with three moose in my room staring at my sleeping body. I walk down the stairs and share a nice maple tree branch with my buddies the wild moose for breakfast. I ride my moose to work where I mingle among crowds of moose three hundred strong. I live, breathe, eat and sleep moose. I am moose.
4.) How much do you like Tim Horton’s?
a.) What even is that?
b.) I’ve eaten there a couple of times, it’s pretty good, about as good as Dunkin’.
c.) Timmy’s is life, Timmy’s is love.
5.) I need you to do me a favor. Call me a fucktard.
a.) Don’t tell me what to do.
b.) You’re a fucktard.
c.) You’re a fucktard. Sorry.
6.) What kind of house do you live in?
a.) My home is composed of 98% guns and ammunition and two percent TV dinners.
b.) Um, a basic house. Like, one that you live in. That kind of house.
c.) I live in a log cabin exactly 98.7 kilometers from the nearest hint of civilization.
7.) How often do you eat beaver?
.a.) Who the hell eats beaver? They don’t serve those at McDonald’s.
b.) I’ve had it a couple of times. Tastes like chicken.
c.) The sole purpose of my existence is to shovel raw hunks of beaver meat into my maw.
8.) What is your opinion on Marijuana?
a.) Bernie Sanders wants to legalize it. Go Bernie.
b.) I’ve smoked weed a couple of times. Makes me dank.
c.) I will literally force feed my kids marijuana leaves at the age of three as their main form of sustenance.
9.) What is God?
a.) The divine creator of the Universe.
b.) That dude that Christians believe in.
c.) The immortal and all-powerful Wayne Gretzky.
10.) How do you like your pizza?
a.) Loaded with every type of meat imaginable and five pounds of bacon.
b.) Normal I guess. Cheese. Maybe some like sausage or pepperoni.
c.) I don’t always like toppings on my pizza, but when I do, I want them underneath the cheese like a savage.
11.) How interested in American politics are you?
a.) I live in this country, so yeah I’m interested in it.
b.) Who isn’t interested in it at this point.
c.) I don’t live in America, but I mean this is basically my KUWTK.
12.) How many hockey games do you watch in a standard hockey season?
a.) Hockey? Why would I watch something stupid like that when I can watch a real sport like football.
b.) I’ve watched a couple of games. But let’s face it, I only watch it for the fights.
c.) I watch EVERY game of hockey, and when I’m not watching live hockey I’m watching reruns of hockey. The entire hockey season is my vacation so I can watch and re-watch the games until I die of sleep deprivation.
13.) When is the last time you actually encountered a human being?
a.) Very recently. Within the hour.
b.) Not too long ago. Most normal human beings do interact with other human beings after all.
c.) I have not seen anything in the last six months except trees and grizzly bears.
14.) What temperature range do you prefer?
a.) I like Florida temps, like 90 something degrees.
b.) A solid 70 Fahrenheit is good for me.
c.) I live in an igloo where we regularly get 50 degrees below zero weather. And that’s in Celsius.
15.) Are you taller than four foot seven?
c.) No, my name is Emily Fagan and I am exactly four foot five.
If you answered mostly A’s, you are….
So who cares if you are lazy, don’t wanna get off your couch, and subsist on a steady diet of fried chicken and propaganda. You’re still clearly from the best and most powerful country in the world. So ain’t nobody allowed to laugh at you.
If you answered mostly B’s, you are….
Make up your mind already. Half Canadian and half American is a horrible combination. Sure a better term for you would be inter-racial or mixed ethnicity, but we’re gonna use this wholly inaccurate term to describe because we’re pissed off at your indecisive and stupid answers and just want to insult you.
If you answered mostly C’s, you are….
You’re probably reading this right now and apologizing about these absolutely SHOCKING results. Seriously, who wants to be Canadian? You should honestly get your shitty ass outside and off of our website, and go play some hockey. Well, do this unless you’re Emily Fagan (we know you’re out there reading this). One of the requirements for playing hockey is that the stick is not taller than you are.
Well that’s it. Hope you had fun determining your ethnicity.