The Day of Reckoning – Vote your conscience

So the day is here. And now by some weird-ass new New York state law, you can officially log your vote online. Even on the Macaroni Report! That’s right, vote for your favoirte political candidate right here, right now! Click here to see how!

The premise is simple, look at the list of each of the available candidates, read about them, and then click on the link immediately below to cast your vote. Your age will be tracked through your email account. And BE CAREFUL!!! Once you have clicked the indicated thing to click, there are NO DO-OVERS. That officially logs your one single vote in this presidential election, and if you try to vote again, the state will issue a 100 dollar fine for each attempted offense.  (For a whole list of voting rules and restrictions, go to https://www.elections.ny.gov/NYSBOE/download/law/2016NYElectionLaw.pdf).

All that being said, have fun! Pick wisely, the fate of our nation depends on it.

 

HILLARY R. CLINTON (P)                                                                                                                       TIMOTHY KAINE (VP)                                                                                                                               Official endorsements; (D, L, WF)

Macaroni Staff Opinion:                                                                                                                  Drawbacks: Lies, con artist, is married to a sex offender, nasty woman                                          Advantages: Not Donald Trump

Click here to vote: http://giphy.com/gifs/hillary-clinton-shimmy-woo-okay-l2SpPZdjcX3JSjR3a

 

DONALD J. TRUMP (P)                                                                                                                               MICHAEL PENCE (VP)                                                                                                                                Official endorsements; (R, C, KKK)

Macaroni Staff Opinion:                                                                                                                               Drawbacks: Lies, rude, racist, general dick, sexually assaults women, thinks global warming was created by and for the Chinese                                                                                  Advantages: None

Click here to vote: http://giphy.com/gifs/election2016-donald-trump-election-2016-3oz8xLd9DJq2l2VFtu

 

GARY JOHNSON (P)                                                                                                                           WILLIAM WELD (VP)                                                                                                                             Official endorsements; (Li, I)

Macaroni Staff Opinion:                                                                                                               Drawbacks: Is kind of an idiot, knows little of what he is talking about, is high most of the time                                                                                                                                                                Advantages: Still better than everybody else

Click here to vote: http://giphy.com/gifs/Election2016-election-2016-gary-johnson-libertarian-party-l2SpSItgDlFja2ac0

 

JILL STEIN (P)                                                                                                                                           AJAMU BARAKA (VP)                                                                                                                               Official endorsements; (G)

Macaroni Staff Opinion:                                                                                                                           Drawbacks: Totally batshit crazy, literally thinks that Bush may have done 9/11           Advantages: Not Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton

Click here to vote: OUT OF ORDER, PLEASE PICK SOMEONE ELSE

 

DEATH (P)                                                                                                                                     ETERNAL  DAMNATION (VP)                                                                                                      Official Endorsements; (AP [American Populace])

Macaroni Staff Opinion:                                                                                                                                 Drawbacks: Literally death and eternal damnation                                                                         Advantages: Literally our best option right here

Click here to die: https://memegenerator.net/instance/67819136

 

Vote Responsibly.

-Kitchenette Dictator

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The Day of Reckoning – Vote your conscience

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