[Operation BigMac 3.0 – #4]
In Greenville, our gym has been under construction for the past couple of months/years. The good news is that the HS gym is complete, and it has many new, if boring features, including the maroon bleachers on one side of the gym [Editor’s Note: Not new, we always has maroon bleachers you fools], and the new LEAD scoreboards and shot clocks. There is brand new floors with customized paint, new wall pain, and finally a new dividing curtain to replace the old fold out wall, all of which surprisingly only contain double the legal limit of asbestos. “It will truly make a great athletic environment for basketball, volleyball, and wrestling, but no other sports. Additionally, it will make a great environment for the most useless course, physical education,” says a gym teacher.
As well as Greenville receiving a new High School gym, we’ve also received new and just-as-useless soccer scoreboards. The new scoreboards are meant to finally keep Greenville up to date with the year 1995. The people watching now have a slightly better understanding of the otherwise incomprehensible time period of the game as well as the score of the game, which is well-documented as being impossible to remember. The referees can also stop the clock whenever they feel like being dicks (AKA all the time).
And through this all, Greenville STILL hasn’t fixed that leak in the roof.