It’s Christmas time, and I must admit that while it can’t quite hold up to a German Krampusnacht celebration (A celebration of Santa’s evil counterpart who kidnaps and kills naughty children), or the Peruvian Takankuy (basically a drunken fistfight, look it up, its pretty awesome), I am feeling a bit of that patented Christmas cheer. Because ignoring it and burning the solstice tree early didn’t make it go away, I decided the best way would be to embrace it and give kids a gift they could really enjoy. This is Christmas miracle, Santa edition.
Let me explain my premise first. Recently, Santa has come under increased scrutiny, even from the younger generation. Now last night I was watching how the Grinch stole Christmas. Taking inspiration from his clever ploy, I have developed a beautiful scheme to spread Christmas belief. I will be traveling from house to house, dressed as Santa Claus, delivering gifts! Pretty clever right? This is actually the second time I have imitated this movie. Last year, I was watching it and got about halfway through before I decided I should do what the Grinch did and steal the presents from every house. This ended in me being arrested, because apparently this is robbery. Thankfully this year will be different, because I finished watching the movie before taking off in a homicidal dash (oh did I say homicidal, I meant hysteric, I always get those two confused). So at 4:15 EST on this, the 24th of December, I will be hitching up my gophers, and setting off to deliver gifts around the world. So keep your eyes open. And remember believe. Or else.
-BCS (Broom Closet Santa)