Math Addict Pushes His Product in Greenville

Breaking News: Students in danger! While many parents have been confident that their children study in a school district free from destructive influences, this is not the case. We’re here to warn you: YOUR CHILDREN ARE IN DANGER!

It’s called math, and everybody’s doing it. If you’ve seen your children come home with tired eyes and a defeated frown, chances are they’ve been doing math. They want that rush of understanding complex concepts, but for many it’s not easy.

Impressionable students here in Greenville have been exposed to a dangerous habit. While attending classes with local math teachers, students have been introduced to a variety of dangerous problems.

Students under the influence of math may become irritable and calculating. They’ll begin asking disconcerting questions, like “What’s the volume of this room?” or “How does your bank calculate interest?” And once a student takes an interest in math, they never seem to be able to shake it.

It’s a sad day when a young citizen turns to hard derivatives, and we’re here to cry for a national ban on all mathematics related substances. Join our movement today at

Remember, calc kills.

Thanks for dividing.

MailRoom Intern No. 2

Math Addict Pushes His Product in Greenville

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