Report: Restless Macaroni Report Turning in Shallow Grave

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Report: Restless Macaroni Report Turning in Shallow Grave

Nations pay their respects to ‘Murica

Today marks the day that our great nation of ‘Murica officially died. The inauguration speech (AKA the official pronouncement of death of our genuinely amazing country) has already been delayed as nations from around the world pay respects to the dictatorial power they always hoped would die soon, but not quite like this.

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Nations pay their respects to ‘Murica

Guide to surviving the holidays: Your Christmas Dictionary

Well Greenvillian, looks like you survived yet another year of Christmas, a holiday marketed as the happiest time of the year while in reality it’s more like the most strenuous time of the year. Seriously, it’s harsh. And me being the good Samaritan that I am, I took the time to write you guys this nice article that should help you prepare for the helliday next year.

With all these words getting thrown around, sometimes it’s just hard to keep track of it all. If you’re like us and sometimes question what the hell is someone talking about when they say figgy pudding or reference Chinese Turkey, maybe you too need to check out this Christmas dictionary and just figure out what the fuck is going on.

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Guide to surviving the holidays: Your Christmas Dictionary

Macaroni Critique: The Il Interview

The video. The movie. The legend. This is the Il Interview, the single greatest homemade Youtube video ever created. Created for a history project in Mr. Thela’s class, this video is both informative and badass. Now let’s critique it so you can all hear about it, and be encouraged to watch it and love it.

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Macaroni Critique: The Il Interview

Which Macaroni Employee are you?

You know the drill. Answer these questions and there is a 100% chance we totally guessed what person you are. And if none of these match you, well then get off of our website.

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Which Macaroni Employee are you?

Sport Facilities Finally Finished

[Operation BigMac 3.0 – #4]

In Greenville, our gym has been under construction for the past couple of months/years. The good news is that the HS gym is complete, and it has many new, if boring features, including the maroon bleachers on one side of the gym [Editor’s Note: Not new, we always has maroon bleachers you fools], and the new LEAD scoreboards and shot clocks. There is brand new floors with customized paint, new wall pain, and finally a new dividing curtain to replace the old fold out wall, all of which surprisingly only contain double the legal limit of asbestos. “It will truly make a great athletic environment for basketball, volleyball, and wrestling, but no other sports. Additionally, it will make a great environment for the most useless course, physical education,” says a gym teacher.

As well as Greenville receiving a new High School gym, we’ve also received new and just-as-useless soccer scoreboards. The new scoreboards are meant to finally keep Greenville up to date with the year 1995. The people watching now have a slightly better understanding of the otherwise incomprehensible time period of the game as well as the score of the game, which is well-documented as being impossible to remember. The referees can also stop the clock whenever they feel like being dicks (AKA all the time).

And through this all, Greenville STILL hasn’t fixed that leak in the roof.

Eat Responsibly.

-Kitchenette Intern

Sport Facilities Finally Finished

Pokemon Go Idiot Stories

[Operation BigMac 3.0 – #3]

The very well known app Pokemon Go appeared in the app store on July 6th 2016, and was a huge hit within the hour it launched. Throughout the months, there have been some pretty idiotic stories about people being total dumbasses¬†while playing Pokemon Go.¬† Continue reading “Pokemon Go Idiot Stories”

Pokemon Go Idiot Stories