The Macaroni Report is a news agency dedicated to delivering the finest in reporting known to man (or at least that’s what the marketing team says). Operating 24/7 we put local Greenville, New York and occasionally global news out non-stop.
- Executives: These cool guys do all the management of The Macaroni Report and also help manage the funds. To be honest they’re horrible at their job but they founded the company in the first place which no one else here can say.
- Interns: These weirdos write 95% of the things that get published. They come from all walks of life and have a combined set of skills second to none. We’d like to note that these guys come and go so often that we really can’t classify them as anything but interns.
- Boiler Room Engineers: These guys run the boiler room which supplies power to the printing presses and heats the building. They also keep the dragon located in our furnace in check. It’s worth noting that you really shouldn’t trust these guys to do anything as they slack off non-stop to play checkers and like to leave the furnace door open. When one goes missing it’s typically thanks to the furnace dragon.
- Mail Room: These people manage the mail room which deals with incoming and outgoing mail. This includes letters to the editors, complaints, and contributor articles. They also respond to and edit a number of the previously mentioned papers. We’d also like to note that any rumors of the mail room being a junk drawer or paper shredder are false.
- Broom Closet: The broom closet holds a Sasquatch whom moved in during the building of the mail room. He occasionally writes articles related to nature.
- Kitchenette: The Official Kitchenette of The Macaroni Report. Storage location for snacks from far and wide, it keeps the interns happy and is probably significantly cleaner than anywhere else in the building.