School has started back up, raising the average stress level of a Greenville student by 36% (73%, for the IB students out there, and 100% for anyone that has the deplorable sense to look a certain Latin teacher in the eyes). With so many grey areas in life, so many concerns, so many classes to sleep through and immediately lose the rubric for, we at the Macaroni are here to declare an absolute in this crazy, madcap clusterfuck. Here is an extensive critique of the upstairs Greenville High School girl`s bathroom, obviously for our target demographic.
With the summer just beginning, we here at the Macaroni offices wanted to commemorate this imminent seasonal shift with something grand. Sasquatch, as usual, took this opportunity to ramble on about the beauty of the solstice, and how with the harvest brings with it its own mystical fruitfulness…and luckily the boiler room interns managed to sedate him with some on-hand Sudafed before he could go all Mufasa and begin crooning on about the circle of life, for the fourth time in a week. Anyway, it was decided by nearly unanimous decision (as the Mailroom VP was reluctant to do something unpertaining to the all important cause that is mail) that the entire company would have a Hunger Game-style showdown.
So, without further ado, welcome to the first Macaroni Report Hunger Games. May the odds be super-legit. Continue reading “The First Official Macaroni Report Hunger Games”