It seems that Donald Trump just shot himself in the foot again. As an old interview of the Donald resurfaced, bringing to light his most recent inflammatory remarks, specifically his remark about how he can use his celebrity status to acquire women and can simply “grab em by the pussy”, the latest polls reveal that the majority of felines are quite offended by this statement. It seems that Trump is struggling in yet another demographic that is not made up of white male humans. This could be just what Hillary needs to retain a healthy lead in her bid for the white house.
I, the Broom Closet Sasquatch, hereby humbly endorse Donald J. Trump for President. I believe that Donald J. Trump is one of the best presidential candidates to have a shot at the presidency in many years, and recommend that all Americans vote for Donald J. Trump, a man who’s policies are sure to bring economic prosperity and peace to America. I believe that Trump is the sole man in today’s political field that has the necessary drive, determination, and beliefs to lead this country to a brighter tomorrow. To conclude, I full-heartedly support Donald Trump in this year’s presidential election, and will be willing to stand behind all of his policies and beliefs, now and in the future. Amen.
Well Macaroni readers, we all know that the dreaded day in November is fast approaching, and it’s likely that a large number of you are just as confused as this author as to what the fuck is going on this year in our political world. So, we thought we could maybe help you out, and we (by we I mean I, of course) put our noggins together to create this quiz, which tells you exactly which candidate you should vote for in simple terms. Amazing, right?
Below you can find a series of questions relating to major policy issues and such. Below each will be five different opinions to the answer of that question. Pick whichever answer is closest to your own opinion on the issue, and then at the end our advanced question formulator thingy will use your answers to determine which Presidential candidate is closest to you on the key issues. Easy right? Okay let’s get this thing started, simply click below to begin our quiz!
As spirit week kicked off this year, there was a resounding difference from the previous years. Strangely, Color Day, a longstanding favorite among the Greenville student body, was thrown out of spirit week, to be replaced by the first annual Nationalistic Brainwashing Day, or “‘Murica Monday” as it is known by the Greenville student body.
As the infamous election day in November draws ever closer, the legendary Uncle Sam has revealed to the public that he has been consulting his doctor about his options for a doctor assisted suicide.
If you don’t read this article right now there will be hell toupee.
This just in! The Macaroni’s reporters in Philadelphia have officially reported that the history has been made! The democrats have officially nominated Hillary Clinton as their presidential nominee, breaking boundaries all across the board. When we asked convention goer Tara Jones her thoughts about this historic event, she said “Well, in the past, we’ve had a lot of male criminals run for president, like at least thirty. Now, we’re breaking boundaries for women! We’ve got to show them that we can be just as corrupt and power hungry in the political field.” The Macaroni can confirm that since everything from here on out involving Hillary is uncharted territory, we will keep you updated on every history-making moment in her coming campaign. Current articles in the planning include “History has been made! Hillary becomes first female presidential nominee to complete two speeches,” “History has been made! Hillary becomes first female presidential nominee to complete three speeches,” and “History has been made! Hillary becomes first female presidential nominee to breath 10,789 breaths since nomination.”