Macaroni Politics: Donald Trump claims that election is rigged, Hillary Clinton used his own words against him

Well, we’re back at it again, interviewing America’s favorite loser.

Continue reading “Macaroni Politics: Donald Trump claims that election is rigged, Hillary Clinton used his own words against him”

Advertisements
Macaroni Politics: Donald Trump claims that election is rigged, Hillary Clinton used his own words against him

Trump Unsure of How Voting Works

2016-11-08t173420z-787788300-d1beulrpgmaa-rtrmadp-3-usa-election-trump.jpg
Donald J. “The Donald” Trump and his wife Melania “A Melania” Trump casting their votes today

While visiting the polling station today with his wife, Melania, Trump realized he doesn’t know how to cast a vote. He leaned over to see his wife’s paper, not unlike a 3rd grader during a Math Test, making sure he put the right answer.

“Frankly, the whole system is a mess,” Trump explained to the press afterwards. “I’ll be honest, I did look on my wife’s ballot. I wanted to be sure that she was voting for a good candidate, and now I am. She told me that she had voted for me when she had finished, but I didn’t understand it. She had checked off Hillary! So I still wasn’t sure, so I checked with the next person at the booth, who also told me that they were voting for me. And then a few more people after that, okay? And they all voted for me, but none of them checked off Trump.”

“It’s so confusing, you can literally check off any box and it will be a vote for me. What if someone wants to vote for crooked Hillary, or pothead Johnson? They should be able to!” Trump exclaimed heroically. “So, just to support a candidate that won’t be receiving any votes, I checked off the box for Hillary. Y’know I’m a gentleman, no one respects women more than me. I think Hillary deserves a vote, even if she is a woman. Sadly, that vote’s still gonna go to me, but at least in spirit, she’ll be getting a vote.”

What a gentleman. No one respects women more than him.

–Intern No. 048

Trump Unsure of How Voting Works

Dozens of Countries Preemptively Close Borders to American Refugees

Election day is tomorrow and America is on the edge of its seat. We’re all anxiously awaiting to see which way the teetering sanity of the United States will finally fall. However, regardless of which candidate is elected, a familiar threat is being heard among voters.

Continue reading “Dozens of Countries Preemptively Close Borders to American Refugees”

Dozens of Countries Preemptively Close Borders to American Refugees