Breaking News has recently broke. A demented Bunny Rabbit has been spotted stalking the hallways of Crossgates Mall, and the police are looking for information on his whereabouts. Sightings peg the bunny as brown and white, possibly rabid, and with an expression on his face “which suggests he downed an entire bottle of anti-depressant pills at once.” This rabbit is extremely dangerous, and should not be approached if spotted.
For the last 30 years, the bunny appears in the mall for a period of approximately one month before disappearing back to his hidden lair. When that period of terror begins constantly changes, and while some claim that we can use the lunar cycle to predict his coming, in truth he is much too erratic. Reportedly, there is some secret underground cult that worships this bunny made up of the parents of young children, and each year they bring their children to the mall in the hopes that he can bless the children. Very few children actually wish to join their parents cult, as is evident by the witness-reported wailing that can be heard throughout the mall whenever one of these tiny tots encounters the demonic creature.