Dozens of Countries Preemptively Close Borders to American Refugees

Election day is tomorrow and America is on the edge of its seat. We’re all anxiously awaiting to see which way the teetering sanity of the United States will finally fall. However, regardless of which candidate is elected, a familiar threat is being heard among voters.

Continue reading “Dozens of Countries Preemptively Close Borders to American Refugees”

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Dozens of Countries Preemptively Close Borders to American Refugees

Welcome to the United States of Trump! A story from the future

Once upon a time there was a guy named Joey. One day, Joey visited the lab of a man named Bill and found that Bill had made a time machine. Bill asked Joey if he could test his time machine by going ten years into the future and seeing what America was like. Joey said yes. So Bill sent him off to the future.

This tale is a 100% true story of the future. Click here to read the entire thing.

Continue reading “Welcome to the United States of Trump! A story from the future”

Welcome to the United States of Trump! A story from the future

Macaroni goes international!

At the Macaroni Report, we just recently hit a major milestone: we have expanded to an international audience. That’s right, people from other countries care enough about what happens in Greenville to actually read our news. There is of course a small chance that these are just random people who just happen to stumble upon our website by accident, but we prefer to be optimistic here at the Macaroni. We’ve gotten 3 views from the UK, a view in Belgium, and most recently a viewer in Portugal! Okay, we don’t care that much about the Portuguese viewer, but the others are awesome!

There have been some rumors that Britain is going to build a wall to keep out “those crazy Americans.” We assure you, the Macaroni Report has nothing to do with this. Britain cited reasons for building the wall as “Lizard People”, “Mountain Farms,” and “Mr. Albright,” but we assure you, Britain must have heard about these things from some other super legit news site. It’s not like those British viewers of the Macaroni now think Americans are crazy or anything. Yeah….

Anyway, now foreigners apparently can read our language and understand our Mr. Siebrecht jokes, so who knows where the Macaroni will go!

Eat Responsibly!

-Kitchenette Intern

Macaroni goes international!