Macaroni Critique: Thela Brand™ Wobbly Podium

Today at the Macaroni Critique, we have yet another Macaroni-worthy item to critique, owned by yet another Greenville teacher desperate for extra cash. After the wild success of his Ceramic Turkey business, history teacher Mr. Thela has decided to market a new product, straight from the mind of the inventor himself: the Thela Brand™ Wobbly Podium.

This special podium isn’t just any podium; this podium has special patented Wobble-Technology which allows it to wobble unpredictability. Not only does this make it all the more entertaining to speak at, but studies have shown that this podium is a total chick-magnet, as 9th grade high school biology teachers just can’t keep their hands off of it.*

We caught up with Mr. Thela for an interview the other day. “Well,” said Thela. “When my podium wobbles around and falls down, it really entertains the kids. It’s made me really popular. So I figured, why not allow other people to fall down mid-presentation and become popular. So I took ol’ Shaky, and made like a bazillion copies of her.” As a special bonus, Thela decided to create special limited-edition Thela Brand™ Wobbly Podiums, which will be given to the first 25 buyers. These Podiums are covered with drawings and photos from the big man himself, including the infamous picture of himself in college asking “Did the Germans surrender after they bombed Pearl Harbor?”**

So go out and buy your own Thela Brand™ Wobbly Podium today! The Macaroni will gladly endorse this product, which can be paid for in 5 easy payments of $27.95.***

-Kitchenette Intern

*Reports that the Thela Brand™ Wobbly Podium can cause shark attacks are not backed by science.

**There is a small chance that some of the aforementioned biology teachers may have broken into the photo stash and contaminated them with a bunch of pictures of themselves.

***Due to his desperation for cash, if you haggle a little with Thela, he’ll sell you it for a buck fifty.